The Myth of Soft Skills — And the Hard Work of True Leadership

Somewhere along the way, we started calling emotional intelligence, communication, and decision-making under pressure “soft skills.”

That was a branding error.

Because there’s nothing soft about the work leaders avoid most.

Let’s retire this phrase: “Coaching helps with soft skills.”

It sounds harmless. Supportive, even. But it’s misleading.

It implies leadership growth is fuzzy and optional—like the garnish on the plate instead of the meal itself.

The truth?

There is nothing soft about real leadership.

It’s hard.

It’s courageous.

It’s inconvenient.

It’s the discipline of seeing yourself clearly—and doing something about it.

It’s questioning your assumptions.

Facing your blind spots.

Choosing long-term clarity over short-term control.

It’s not just being in charge—it’s being worth following.

And coaching?

It’s not a pep talk. It’s a crucible.

A mirror. A flashlight. A measuring stick.

It surfaces the patterns that limit your influence.

It separates what’s effective from what’s just familiar.

It demands personal reckoning and invites deep reinvention.

Leadership growth isn’t extra.

It’s not decorative.

It’s the main event.

So let’s stop calling it soft.

Because for the leaders actually doing the work—there is nothing more serious.

I work with high-performing leaders to challenge outdated thinking and drive real results. DM me if you’re ready to have that conversation.

What’s the “softest” skill you’ve had to master that took the hardest work?